When I Couldn’t Face Myself in the Mirror

There was a time when I couldn’t look myself in the mirror and avoid to see myself in the mirror.

Not because I didn’t have time.

Not because I was too busy.

But because every time I caught my own reflection…

I saw someone I didn’t want to be.

I saw a face I didn’t like …

She is ugly, angry, acted knowing alots.

Always needing to be right. Not the best.

Lifeless. Dead inside.

It wasn’t just about appearance.

It was deeper, a disconnect from my soul.

I felt numb, like I was watching a version of myself that didn’t belong.

 

💔 What Was Really Hiding Behind That Reflection?

 

I used to think it was just self-hate.

But now, I know it was something more tender.

Behind that harsh judgment lived:

• A version of me who was tired.
• A part of me who used anger as armor.
• A wounded child who thought, “If I’m not right, I don’t matter.”
• And a heart that had gone numb from holding too much for too long.
• A truth that I don‘t know how to love myself.

   

I wasn’t seeing myself.

I was seeing my survival.

 

🌬️ The Breath That Changed Everything

 

Breathwork didn’t change me overnight.

But it gave me space — space to feel what I had buried for years.

Grief. Shame. Rage. Resentment.

The silent ache of pretending to be okay.

As I breathed, something softened.

Not because I became “better,” but because I finally allowed myself to be real.

And for the first time in a long time…

I looked in the mirror again.

And saw someone coming home.

 

🌿 To You, If You Can’t Face the Mirror Right Now

 

You’re not broken.

You’re not wrong.

You’re not “too much” or “not enough.”

You’re just tired of pretending.

That reflection you can’t face?

She’s not your enemy.

She’s your messenger.

She’s saying:

“Please stop performing.

Please come feel with me.

Please… come back.”

 

🪷 This Is Why I Hold Breathwork Sessions

 

Not to “fix” you.

Not to force positivity.

But to create a space where you can finally stop running.

To let your breath take you to the places your mind avoids.

To meet the part of you that you’ve hidden and love her back into life.

When you’re ready, I’ll be here.

With my breath.

And my mirror.

Both open.

 

💬 Ready to begin?

 

Message me to start you inner journey.

This space is for you.

 

With Love and Light,

Ellice Lew