The Day I Felt Trapped… and Ended Up Holding the Wheel

Today my old stories were triggered after seeing some Facebook updates.

I already unfollowed, but somehow it still showed up. Funny right? Sometimes life still finds a way to place the exact thing in front of us that we are trying so hard to put down.

The moment I saw it, I felt deeply hurt inside me. Not just surface emotions, but the kind that sits quietly in the body for a long time. I realised no matter how many things I tell myself, no matter how much logic I try to use, I still cannot fully accept it.

I could not find an answer.  
I could not put it down.  
I felt trapped inside my own story.

But today, something was different.

Instead of canceling everything and sinking deeper into my thoughts, I chose to continue with my original plan. I went for the sailing activity at Marina Bay Sands.

Honestly, I am thankful to myself for not giving up at the last minute earlier when the pressure and trigger became overwhelming.

And something interesting happened.

The pain was still there, but life also continued moving.

Bonus: I got to talk with the crew, learned something new, discovered more part-time opportunities 🤣 and even got the chance to hold the wheel.

That moment felt strangely symbolic.

Earlier in the day, I felt trapped inside my own story.  
Later, life placed a wheel in my hands.

Maybe healing is not about suddenly letting go. Maybe it is not about finding the perfect answer that makes all the pain disappear.

Maybe sometimes healing looks like this:
feeling deeply hurt, but still choosing to show up for life.

Today reminded me that even when my mind feels stuck, life can still surprise me with new conversations, new experiences and little openings I did not expect.

And for that, thank you to myself.  
Thank you for not giving up today.  
And thank you to DBS for this activity.