From “Helping Others” to Truly Understanding Myself

In my earlier life, I thought being helpful was love.

I used to be a very helpful person.

I could hardly say no to anyone’s request.

But through breathwork and self-discovery, I began to see the truth behind my helpfulness and what I was really trying to fill.

Helping others made me feel valuable, useful, even smart and much of that was feeding my ego.

Every time I helped someone, deep inside I expected something in return like a thank you, appreciation, or support when I needed it.

When it didn’t come, I felt angry and frustrated not just at them, but also at myself.

I strongly believed in “you jump, I jump.”

If I help you, you should help me.

That felt fair and balanced.

But when it didn’t happen, I felt hurt, unseen, and unappreciated.

For the longest time, I told myself I was helping for others.

But the truth was… I didn’t really know who I was helping for.

Was it truly for them?

Or was it for me to feel useful, recognized, loved, and needed?

It wasn’t until my mentor asked me directly:

“Are you helping others for them… or for yourself?”

That question knock me hard and it broke my loop.

At first, I had no answer only silence.

My mind ran wild, trying to find the “right” answer, but none of it made sense.

Eventually, I saw the truth so much of my helping was really a way to fill my own emptiness.

A way to feel worthy, recognized, and needed.

Through Rebirthing Breathwork, I began to see my patterns clearly.

I started to understand that when I do something for myself from a place of love and peace, I am already whole.

When I take full responsibility for my own needs and actions, nothing more is needed.

The moment itself becomes complete.

 

Now, I’m able to be honest with myself to say “no” when I mean it,

without guilt or shame.

My worth no longer depends on being useful to others.

It’s humbling to see how complicated I actually am.

I once thought I was simple.

But my emotions, motives, and fears run deep.

I see now that my wish to help was also my wish to be loved.

It’s painful… but also freeing.

Because seeing my truth gave me a choose to choice differently, I no longer need to hide behind “helpfulness.”

I can simply be me honoring myself as I am.

 

Maybe it’s not about giving more, but about giving from a place that’s already full.